Pain everywhere

So it seems as though my RA/RD has decided to wake up with a furry, it hurts to type but normally does and I do have my wrist surgery coming up in 1 week so no winder my right hand would be painful, gotta get it all out right?

I had to get read for a volunteer meeting, I feel like a turtle and like I could lay my head down and pass out for hours.  I look at my dog and thing, what a horrible dog my mom I am, she goes out to do her business 3 times a day and that’s it, we haven’t been to the dog park in months.

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Cleaning, it’s easy right?

To the healthy human sure it’s easy.  Cleaning off my dresser should be easy but it wasn’t, my middle finger locked and dislocated, I have it taped up so I can’t use it.  Funny thing is, I found like 4 dimes in places I had already cleaned but when I walked back, there were dimes, people who believe in the spiritual world and spirits, which I do, they say that when a loved one is there for you, you’ll find a dime, each time I picked up a dime, I said “Thank you Mom, does this mean I’ll be ok” after I picked up the 4th one, I did this to my finger lol Maybe she is reminding me of giving her the middle finger when I was a kid, I swear I did it behind her back but she said “I see that”, shaking my head, who knows, I hope she was saying everything is going to be ok Dawn because I really need that right about now.  Seriously the past 2 months have been hell when it comes to my entire life.  2 people died, one to pancreatic cancer one to suicide, mothers day, my first infusion,  her anniversary, a friend came into my life all was well then she fucked me over and it wasn’t the kind.  BUT, through all of that, I made it without a therapist(but I need one badly).  A friend did help me though she has been the one bright lite in my life lately, it is just so simple and easy to be friend with her and it helps a ton that she has RA, I wish she didn’t but that’s how we became friends so if you’re reading this, you already know this but thank you from my entire heart, you’re appreciated, and I ❤ you :p

 

It’s not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
Agnes Repplier